Let’s not sugarcoat shit — **Slate Plumbing is getting fucked sideways** by their current SEO agency. Not just "underperforming." Not just "needs improvement." We’re talking about a flaming fucking trainwreck of a strategy that's tanking their rankings and flushing their ROI straight down the fucking drain.
And we’re here to rip this fraud of a “strategy” apart, piece by pathetic piece. 🪓
Here’s what these SEO “experts” thought would work (spoiler alert: it fucking doesn’t): 🤡 ONE landing page to target TWO completely different cities — holy hell, what amateur hour are we in? That’s SEO malpractice. You will never rank doing that lazy sht. 🚫 ZERO geo signals. Not a single fucking trace of location-based optimization. No embedded maps, no location schema, no NAP alignment — Google has no idea where the fck this business is. 📉 No entity relevance. No NLP optimization. No topical depth. Just some generic, low-IQ fluff content that reads like a Fiverr reject wrote it at 3AM with a hangover. 💀 On-page SEO? Flatline. No internal linking, no optimized headers, no structured content. Just digital garbage collecting dust.
This isn’t just bad SEO — this is a full-blown business death sentence.
Imagine paying some limp-d*ck agency thousands of dollars a month to sabotage your Google Maps rankings, bury your visibility, and make sure your phone never rings again. That’s exactly what’s happening to Slate Plumbing — and guess what? They’re not alone.
This sh*t is happening to plumbers, roofers, electricians, and local businesses all across the country — victims of overhyped, white hat, play-by-the-rules SEO that doesn’t move the needle and sure as hell doesn’t get you paid. 😤
🔥 ENTER: GREEN HAT LOCAL SEO. We don’t do that "white hat", “Google guideline”, tiptoe-around-the-algorithm crap. That’s for nerds who like getting fucked by updates and wondering why their clients are ghosting them.
At GHLS, we go scorched earth: 💣 City-specific landing pages that punch Google in the face with local relevance. 🧠 NLP + entity stacking to build undeniable topical authority. 📍 Geo-infused content, schema, citations, and signal injection that forces Google to notice. ⚔️ On-page SEO that’s cleaner, meaner, and built to dominate.
No fluff. No fairy tales. No f*cking excuses.
If your current agency is doing ANY of the sht we exposed in this video, fire them. TODAY. They’re bleeding your business dry while handing your competitors the Map Pack on a silver platter. 🖕 You need killers. You need strategists. You need someone who **doesn’t give a fck about rules — just results.**
🚨 Ready to stop playing nice and start f*cking winning? 👉 Book a no-BS strategy call at https://ghls.io and let us blow the lid off your local market. Let’s build a site that ranks, a brand that dominates, and a funnel that actually f*cking converts.
Green Hat Local SEO. We don’t follow the rules. We f*cking rewrite them. 🔥
